| Two funny (well, at least to me they are) stories
1) Remember oh so long ago, when I first started this xanga, how I told you of Peter and the sock drawer? Well, this past weekend, after years of training, Peter looked in the drawer two drawers down from the top for his socks. This sounds fantastic, right? Wrong... Guess what I did the afternoon before? Yup, I moved them back up to the top drawer. Of course when he asked me (almost scared) where his socks were, I answered, exasperated "In the TOP drawer" like this is where they have been for years. Only after I said it did I realize what I had done, and I cracked up, so did he.
2) This one is long. Peter and I have an insane fear of water bugs. I don't mean an, "Ewww, gross, step on that thing” fear. I mean, "Get the paddles, charge, clear ...beep, beep, beep.... we have their pulses again" fear.
Anyhow... I went to the office with him on Saturday, as I have been doing for the past few months. So much has been packed up, and shifted around getting ready for the move to Quentin Road. Also, the exterminator had been in that week as well. You know this makes for perfect conditions for little friends to come out of hiding. Well, right in the doorway to his office is a HUGE, what we perceive as dead (how this will haunt us later) water bug. It's turned over on its back, legs crunched in, in that "RAID!!!!" position.
Peter has no choice to but to go in, he doesn't even look down but just about levitates over the thing, and into his chair. I just keep walking right on by, no need for me to go in there, I'm safe for now. As the day goes on, I pass by his door a few times, each time checking out the carcass of the bug. On what was to be my final trip passed for the day, I look down, and the creature from the pipe behind the wall was back over, right side up, and about a foot from where he had started out. Peter is staring at it.
"It's moving, Dawn", he says.
"No, it is not moving. You must have kicked it over when you had passed by it earlier"
I say this while I try to convince myself that the things antennae are not really moving back and forth on their own, but are being blown about by the breeze from the window. And while Peter looks at me as if to say: Kicked it over?? I'd sooner use a curtain rod and pole vault out of here than walk over that thing.
"Well, you have to get rid of it. You can not leave it there all day", I say.
He breaks out into a cold sweat, looks a bit green, and says;
"I can't do it... No wait, yes I can... No, I will get sick, OK OK I'll do it.... what do I pick it up with?"
"Use two file folders, one to brush it up, and the other as a dustpan"
He does not want to waste two folders on this, so instead opts for one file folder. He crouches down, and tries to slide it under the bug, while NOT looking at it. He manages to move the bug from in his office to out in the hallway. He crouches again, this time succeeds in getting the bug onto the folder (still not looking at it) stands up and says "This isn't bad, I did it without looking, now where is there a garbage pail?"
OK, now I have been standing facing him with my back to the doorway leading out into the front of the office. I start to raise my finger to point to the back classroom and say "There is a ......."
What was supposed to follow was "garbage pail in that classroom" The only thing I can imagine he heard, judging by reaction was...
"There is a 6 foot tall, 8 foot wide, man eating water bug sneaking up behind you"
Because what immediately followed my gesture and half statement was; All the color draining out of Peter's face, him running in place for 3 seconds, screaming, and in the process of trying to get away from the imaginary monster he THREW the bug he has just picked up, AT ME. It didn't matter, because as soon as I had seen the color drain from his face, I thought "Oh no, the bug came back to life" and I turn to run out of the room, but turned in the wrong direction and ran smack into the wall.
We laughed for a good 30 minutes, I mean really laughed, Mila came in and must have thought we lost our minds, but was quick to agree that the bug was horrendous. And she also helped me confirm that the bug was indeed coming back to life. If we waited another hour it would have certainly made 100% recovery.
Peter ended up vacuuming it up.
** EDIT **
Is anyone out there a competitve scrabble player? I do not mean someone who takes out the board now and then to play when there isn't anything else to do. But someone who studies the OSPD and is a die-hard player. Let me know, cause I am and need people to play with. All the scrabble clubs I can find in Brooklyn meet on Sundays.
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